The Ohgood Caristic Read online

THE OHGOOD CARISTIC

  JOHN BUCKLEY

  FOR KATIE AND CHRIS

 

 

  In the year 3000B.H. the Darinvians gathered at the Somso Super Raceway for the monthly 606 lap race thru and around the city of Pouf on the planet of Parscan. The Darinvians were a race of orange and black skinned warlords who ruled over 7 planets and 30 large moons in the Coulez system.

  In the recent years squabbles had sparked a large and bloody war between the Darinvians, Goep and the Yesic holy council which dictated all spiritual matters in the Coulez system. The Darinvians were led by Dr. Famaron Venge a 6’5” 260 pound mountain of terror. He had dark red straight hair that was cut into 3 triangles with the largest being on top of his head and each triangle of hair was tied into a flower design. He had a thick blonde handle bar mustache, which had Semsem beads attached at the tips.

  Semsem beads released a soothing light blue smoke that kept the mind relaxed and euphoric.

  His eyes told the story, they were blonde in color and had tiny blue triangles littered throughout them. His nose was prominent and pointy and he had flaring nostrils that made him appear to be on the verge of violence. He always wore his triangle shaped lightly tinted green sunglasses with gold frames that had the Plalo crest on the front.

  The Plalo were a group of 40,000 wizards who had mastered all of the 6,000 Kamsip spells, which were the most powerful. They existed in secret and shared a series of chateaus all over the outskirts of Pouf’s countryside.

  Famaron also loved white on white suits and seal black leather shoes, with triangle red tips. He wore on the index finger of his left hand a Yada ring, which had a contained spell inside and could be cast with a single tap on the ring and was bright orange in color. Around his neck was a Fortust spell in the form of a necklace.

  A Fortust spell was more of a shield and could cancel out an attackers spell.

  Famaron sat on a floating black couch with his feet on a floating red table on the side of a beautiful sloping flower covered hill watching the Flashers fly by in the first lap of the race.

  Flashers were of every shape and size and could go at 5600 miles per hour and turn on a dime and had both anti gravity and magic propelled super engines. The ships all had large triangle shaped engines and most had 2 person cockpits with large brown leather seats for the pilots. They often times had spells casted on their chassis to keep the color and shape ever changing to intimidate the other racers.

  On the either side of Famaron’s couch there was a statue of Baub Avesup, the highest holy leader from the Yesic holy council, standing holding his 10 foot black staff with its golden Dowa bird on the top.

  The Dowa bird was a 10 foot tall red winged hawk like bird with a wild smile perpetually on its face. It had long wings with its eggs in a skin pouch at the tips. It also had far away eyes that gave it the look of being intoxicated.

  Famaron raised his golden staff and shouted,” Taste my lips for corus!”

  Then a bottle of Ardanu wine appeared and he grabbed it and pulled out the cork with his teeth and said greedily,” Nice to see you again, I missed your endless love.”

  Then he took a long gulp and let out a sigh as 2 Flashers came flying towards him. One was shrouded in a spell making it look like 3 bolts of lightning. And the other looked like a screaming face. They rode hard right at Famaron then at the last second did a 90 degree turn and tore off into the race course and Famaron said snidely,” Your ships are an embarrassment. How dare you enter my eyesight, I’ll have the 2 of you destroyed before nightfall.”

  Then a small Woright ship came flying down thru the clouds and then towards Famaron.

  Woright ships were shaped like a pair of scissors standing on its side. They had 2 huge round anti gravity turbines that went thru the rear of the ship. They also had the head of Teroco Avesup on the front, Baub’s brother.

  Teroco had wavy dark brown long hair that had dozens of small golden statues of himself in it. His eyebrows were thick and curly. He also had a thick red goatee that grew naturally into a curled up tip. His eyes were lime green and had a claw design in both. He was 6’2” and 203 pounds of lean quick muscle. He wore his dark purple robe and black boots perpetually. He also had 3 golden Yada rings with his favorite saying,” I almost killed you, but I was tripped,” engraved on the sides. Around his neck was a blue Gorme necklace.

  The Gorme necklace was a spell cast piece of wood that turned into pure platinum and could change a person’s form with just a touch into anything from a pebble to a Dowa bird.

  Famaron saw the Woright and said sternly,” Oh great, what is this crap? This is all I need another visit from the old wind bag. I wonder if he’ll have another moronic personal request. Now this scratches my ass how dare he.”

  The Woright hovered in front of Famaron and then a retractable platform with stairs extended out of it came to rest right in front of Famaron. Then the blue circular door began spiraling open and revealed 3 people standing there an older man, a young man, and a beautiful young woman.

  The older man was Aohan Peps, Baub’s younger brother. He had dark brown shortly cut hair with a design of the Designer of Good cut into it.

  The Designer of Good was god himself and was also known as Goarote. His face had chiseled features with a block jaw and a long wide nose and pursed lips. His hair was seal black and was shaven all the way up to the top of his head then long in the front.

  Aohan was 6’0 with light green skin and he was wearing a yellow robe and white belt, as well as a pair of yellow leather boots. He had a red 7 foot tall staff with a baby’s smiling face on the top of it in his right hand.

  On either side of him was Baub’s 2 children Ohgood and Ratie Bell. Ohgood was 5’7” 152 pounds of lightning quick. He had a large bulbous head and narrow shoulders. His hair was dark green thick and cut into a circle that extended to the tip of his ears and spiked outward in every direction. He had lavender eyes that had a cocky look to them. His nose was perfectly straight and tipped slightly upward at the end. He had snarling teeth that put people off when he smiled. His hands and feet were too large for his body. He had on a tan vest over a white long sleeved dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He also had on a pair of tan corduroy pants with the Plalo crest sewn into the left pocket. His shoes were

  tan leather with a paisley design on them and black rubber soles. He also had on a thin black Morshito bracelet on his right wrist.

  Morshito bracelets doubled a person’s punch strength by adding a bit of magic from the bracelet.

  He was also wearing a platinum necklace with the first phrase from the Qoms book of scripture written on it and it read,” If I be the darkness let a thousand plagues enter your lives, for I and only I have seen the light.”

  The Qoms book was a book written by Teverus, the third son of Goarote. He wrote its 10,000 pages over the span of 2 years and when he had finished he told the then king Gomo of Parscan to burn it, because he feared the truth would kill all who read it. Teverus wrote one other book known as the screaming silence that detailed 750 simple things a person could do to bring them contentment like forgetting all worried and fears until the moment you actually had to confront them. He also said you should share your triumphs equally as much as your failures to keep your mind in the center. Teverus exploded into a burst of stars that spelled out the word yes, when he was 46 and was never heard from again

  Ratie Bell was 5’5” and weighed 130 pounds with a small torso and a large bottom and muscular
calves as well as tone trim arms. Her hair was long purple thick and had seven small silver statues of Potaim tied into it with braids.

  Potaim was the second son of Goarote and was the one who created the Caristic Layered Existence.

  The Caristic was a 50,000 mile wide and deep world inside the world that had a different set of rules and parameters than Parscan and was only accessible thru the Gavert caves deep within Parscan, but after Potaim disappeared no one was ever able to open the Gorshan locks. The Gorshan were only

  opened when Potaim put his hand onto the golden colored hand shaped Halpera diamond at the end of the Gavert caves. Many millions of people tried each year to open the diamond lock, but no one ever had. It was called the Potaim test and every child of 20 years old was required to try.

  Potaim said before he disappeared that it was the Caristic that would always be changing to make itself a better place to inspire and make people endlessly happy. When it was opened it tended to change every few days in new and different ways. Now it’d been 30 years and everyone was dying to see what it had become. Many blamed the loss of it for the start of the war.

  Ratie’s eyes were crimson and had tiny claws imprinted all around the eyeball. She was beautiful to look at with a round bulb at the tip of her nose and thick red lips. She had on a pair of pink silk trousers that had the Plalo crest on them in blue thread. And she had on a white thin cashmere sweater with her father’s face sewn onto the front. She also had on white slippers with a 2 inch heel. And a blue pearl necklace around her neck that had the words,” I love everyone even dad,” written on the pearls in red letters.

  Aohan, Ratie, and Ohgood walked up to Famaron and Aohan asked snidely,” Isn’t it a bit early for wine, Famaron?”

  “ Shut up you, idiot, I drink when I want too. What brings you and the moronic seed of Baub to my doorstep? Where I’m drinking early,” said Famaron sternly as he glared at Ohgood and Ratie and grinned.

  “ Idiot is it, well look you colossal boob, Baub needs a favor and you owe him several. What he needs is for you to take Ohgood and Ratie to their Potaim test,” said Aohan sadly as he watched Famaron scratching his belly and then burp loudly.

  “ Alright look, I’ll take the two brats over, but if they get out of line I’m knockin’ the teeth out of their mouths got it,” said Famaron sternly as he stood and then took a long drink from his bottle of wine.

  “ You try it and I’ll wreck your head and break both your decrepit legs, old man,” said Ohgood boldly as he glared at Famaron.

  “ Yeah you come near me and your life will end quicker than a sand fleas,” said Ratie quickly as she clenched her jaw.

  “ Oh really you little sprats think you’ve got the salt to tangle with a man of importance. There’s only one violent person in this conversation and it ain’t either of you two spoiled brats,” said Famaron fiercely as he stared down Ohgood.

  “ Alright then, I’ll leave them with you. It seems nothing changes, but the dates bye, Famaron,” said Aohan warmly then he walked back into the Woright.

  Then Ohgood and Ratie looked at Aohan leaving and then turned to see Famaron smiling deviously at them and then said smoothly,” A day of bonding and the bridging of the generational gap, well I’m all for it. What say we get our own means of transportation. Then we’re off to a fun filled day at the legendary Caristic. Where who knows one or both of you could have a horrible accident and find yourself in a pine box with no way out. Follow your old friend Famaron,” said Famaron brightly and then he raised his staff and shouted,” Couldpo memrit forsaken places thus!”

  Then out of the clouds came a Penipode fighter plane being carried in the claws of a green scaly dragon.

  The Penipode was a turtle shell shaped smooth black ship, with 6 large red round anti gravity turbines with 3 per side. It had 3 yellow tinted windows in the front that bore a resemblance to Famaron himself. There were also 4 large green laser canons on the front of the ship. It also had an orb of pure dense magic on the undercarriage that could be dropped on an attacker and turn them into a mound of dragon dung or a fleck of dust.

  “ Nice ride, I’ll call Ponz rifle,” said Ohgood quickly.

  “ What, I hate riding in the back what about being nice to your sister?” asked Ratie as she pouted and crossed her arms.

  “ Alright, Ratie, you can stare at the back of my head while I ride Ponz rifle isn’t that nice?” asked Ohgood sarcastically as he smirked at Ratie and then poked her with his finger.

  “ What difference does it make you kids just make up stuff to care about so you can fight over who gets it. I’ll tell ya a secret there’s only one path to heaven and you’ll never find it, huh dungaters?” said Famaron snidely as he watched the Penipode be set down gently on the grass then the dragon blew a burst of flames into the air and left.

  “ Join the club, we’re gonna roast a wild Morknu when you die and marinate it with your ashes. That’s about as close to heaven as a boob like yourself is ever gonna get,” said Ohgood snidely then he and Ratie burst out laughing.

  “ You kids these days, they try to educate you, but your brains are ant farms. Needless to say we’ve got places to get too and a random accident to befall you, let’s hit it,” said Famaron coldly then he waved his staff and the hatch to the Penipode opened up by sliding into the walls, floor, and ceiling.

  “ Hey, Famaron, you ever heard of soap ‘cause your b.o. has me on the verge of passing out,” said Ohgood jokingly as he walked into the Penipode and laughed.

  Inside the Penipode it was a good 1200 feet long and was built like a lavish castle with 3 floors and 4 dozen rooms. As you came aboard there was a pair of statues of Dornoa Jems the leader of the Sandu people. The Sandu were a people of tan skin and red hair and lived in the dense Gamazone forest inside an intricate tree city. Dornoa was a burly man of 6’8” and had long curly red hair and tan colored eyes. He like all the Sandu wore lavish multi colored robes and gold jewelry, as well as tiny sunglasses that focused light into a laser beam and went directly to their cerebral cortex. It gave them an instant more time in battle with their glasses, because it sharpened the mind.

  On the walls were 3 pictures of old Funatu, Famaron’s father, holding his staff up in the air and casting a spell. The room itself was t shaped and had a large 20 foot long wall t.v. monitor on the right wall and a pair of white leather couches on the left. In between them there was a refrigerator and microwave that rose up out of the floor at the push of a button and floated above the floor on a cushion of air. There were also 3 long blue tinted glass cases with 2 staffs per case and cross shaped Oreans inside.

  Oreans were filled with a fine powder that could be ingested and turn you invisible for ten minutes.

  The ceiling bowed upward to a trio of blue, yellow, and red lights that filled the room with ambiance. On the floor were 3 Baatold skin rugs that covered most of the room.

  Baatolds were a 30 foot tall bear like creature with heads similar to a lions only with shorter red noses and 2 black jagged horns protruding. Their fur was yellow and orange, with star patterns covering all of their bodies.

  “ What do you think, kids, is this a good place to die or what?” asked Famaron sarcastically as he ran and jumped onto the couch.

  “ Shut your Kampat hole of I’ll slap your teeth loose,” said Ohgood sternly then he lifted his hand like he was going to slap Famaron.

  “ Oh please do it, just give me a reason,” said Famaron hopefully as he grinned.

  “ Hey aren’t you supposed to start the ship?” asked Ratie sternly as she sat down on the opposite side of the couch from Famaron.

  “ Patience my, dear, bad gene pool, I can work wonders from my command seat,” said Famaron calmly then he waved his staff and a remote control flew over to him from beneath the t.v. monitor.

 
“ You know using magic for useless and frivolous things is frowned on,” said Ohgood then he pressed the button for the refrigerator to rise up out of the floor.

  “ You know advice sucks, let’s use our minds to serve mankind, throw me a beer,” said Famaron playfully as he looked blankly at Ohgood.

  Then Ohgood grabbed a Hemhowser beer can and opened it and took a swig and then said,” Not bad.”

  “ Alright give it here already,” said Famaron as he gestured with his hand.

  “ Oh right one second,” said Ohgood then he grabbed another Hemhowser and threw it to Famaron and said brightly,” if the mountains call and valleys sing, you’ll know the place Hemhowser beer, ‘cause we give a damn.”

  “ I love that commercial with the 6 Baatolds doing flips off the top of Mt. Vermar. Then the smallest one gets caught on a tree branch and his fur comes off and he says, well at least I’m loaded,” said Ratie then everyone started to laugh.

  “ There’s nothing finer for my money. O.K. let’s get a move on let me start the engines,” said Famaron as he pressed a button on the remote control and the engines made a pulsing sound and the ship lifted into the air.

  Then he turned on the monitor and they could see for a hundred miles in every direction as the view of all 4 sides was visible. Then they shot off at an angle over the Pouf countryside. There were hundreds of huge chateaus in every direction and the black steel buildings of Troitsa could be seen in the distance. “ Is that Troitsa on the horizon?” asked Ratie as she walked over to the fridge and grabbed a beer.

  “ It is we’ll be there before long. Goarote I love Troitsa, some of the best times I’ve ever spent were right there. Seems like centuries ago,” said Famaron as he thought of a wild party his brother Corbue put on the prior year where he ended up naked in the bathtub with 2 women.

  “ I love it too, there’s just so much to do and see. I could spend ten years there and never do the same thing twice. And there’s the Caristic, well the hope of it. Boy if that ever opened up again from what I’ve heard it would change everything,” said Ratie as she stared at Troitsa and wondered what all the people who lived there were thinking.

  “ Someday it just had to happen. We just need a lucky break and then it’s good times for all of us,” said Famaron as he remembered the stories his father told of the Caristic and how it was indescribable.

  “ We’ll get there someday, I just know it. Every man gets a day’s luck for every 8 unlucky days he spends, I read that. Who knows, it might not be today, but it could be soon and it’s worth waiting for,” said Ohgood warmly as he sipped his beer.

  “ The book of Qoms, love that passage, but let me quote another, if the meals on the table the cooks in bed. So we’ll eat our feast and let him rest. There is a time for everything. I pray you kids get to see the Caristic before you’re too old to appreciate it,” said Famaron then he nodded at Ratie and smirked.

  Then they each sat and got lost in their thoughts for several minutes. Each fantasizing about what the Caristic could have become. Then Ohgood stood up and walked over to one of the glass cases holding a pair of staffs and slid the silver lock open and grabbed a long 7 foot purple and black staff with the words,” If it was mine it’s taken,” burned into the wood. He twirled it above his head 3 times then stopped and shouted,” Torn buckles can’t reap!”

  Then a miniature army of red and blue soldiers appeared that were all of 4 inches tall. They each had long broad swords and laser pistols inside red holsters. Then Ohgood sat down on the floor and said to the soldiers,” I want you to fight against each other until one side is the victor. Now let’s have a good dirty battle for the ages!”

  Then an all out fight to the death mini war broke out with laser blasts and sword thrusts coming from every soldier. 2 red soldiers shot a yellow one in the head with their laser pistols and it blew his head to pieces. Then a yellow soldier did a handspring and stabbed his sword down thru a red soldiers helmet and head and deep into his chest and he fell to the ground and began shaking and Ohgood said boldly,” Now that was a nifty maneuver I gotta try that myself!”

  Ratie saw the mini war from the couch and asked,” What have you gotten into over there, Ohgood? It looks pretty diabolical.”

  “ Oh it’s just an all out fight to the death for my own amusement,” said Ohgood then he picked up a red soldier and hurled him at the wall and his blood splattered on it and Ohgood said loudly,” Oh that was perfect humanity, Ratie. Look he’s sticking to the paint.”

  “ Nice, Ohgood, really sinister. Look at the one there he’s got a sword thru his head,” said Ratie as she picked up the wounded red soldier.

  “ Dead weight, he had it comin’,” said Ohgood coldly as he watched the soldier squirm in Ratie’s hand.

  Then Famaron raised his staff and shouted,” Torn trinkets to refusto!”

  Then a pair of one foot tall Baatolds appeared and headed for the miniature battlefield and Famaron grinned and said snidely,” The war’s getting’ a whole lot tougher, Ohgood.”

  Then Ohgood turned and saw the Baatolds and said defiantly,” My soldiers can take those wretched beasts any day, just watch.”

  Then Ratie laughed as a Baatold grabbed 2 soldiers and started eating them and then Ratie said wryly,” I don’t know, Ohgood, it looks like maybe the Baatolds have the upper hand, I’m just sayin’”

  Famaron laughed, but then 4 yellow soldiers blasted one of the Baatolds in the eye, chest, arm, and leg with their laser pistols. And the Baatold began spinning in a circle as its eye fell to the ground and blood gushed from its wounds and Ohgood said proudly,” Those are my troops in there, they’re mine whuhu”

  “ You, rascal, don’t count your Dowa birds yet, look there,” said Famaron as he pointed to the Baatold as it punched off red soldiers heads one after another.

  “ He’s right, Ohgood, it’s getting the upper hand,” said Ratie playfully as she grinned.

  Then the one eyed Baatold fell on top of 2 yellow soldiers and crushed them to death, but 3 red soldiers began stabbing him with their swords and one reeled back and chopped off the Baatolds head and Ohgood said proudly,” One down and the mighty have fallen.”

  “ You haven’t won just yet, the other one’s a fighter. He’s tearin’ thru those troops like a fist thru air, nice!” said Famaron enthusiastically as he watched the Baatold grab 2 soldiers by the neck and squeeze the life out of them.

  Then a red soldier did a flip over a cup on the floor and shot his laser bursts into the Baatold’s throat. Then blood gushed out as the Baatold struggled to breath, but then the Baatold got a fierce surge of anger and grabbed 2 red soldiers and smashed their heads together crushing their skulls and Famaron said boldly,” C’mon big fella make it happen!”

  “ C’mon troops gang up on him. He’s hurt, he can’t stop you all,” said Ohgood sternly as he clenched his fists and lips.

  “ It could go either way, there’s only 6 soldiers left, Ohgood. I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” said Ratie as she tried to hide her glee.

  Then one of the Baatolds crushed a yellow soldier under its foot, but as it did it got stabbed clean thru its back and out its chest. Then it stumbled forward as the remaining soldiers blasted it with laser fire

  and Ohgood said slyly,” This doesn’t look good for old Baatold. I’d venture to say he’s heading for a gruesome death.

  “ You are dead on with that. Look he can barely walk, it won’t be long now,” said Ratie as she pulled out a silver cigarette with her likeness on it.

  Then she pulled out a cigarette and tapped it with a lighting penny and began smoking and Famaron asked,” Could I get one of those I’m all out?”

  “ Yeah, here you go,” said Ratie as she handed Famaron a cigarette then lit it for him.

  “ Thanks, I am tryi
ng to ensure I’ll die before old age. I just can’t handle a diminished form of life. So it’s a pack a day and an early exit,” said Famaron slyly as he smoked and then grinned.

  Then the remaining 6 soldiers piled on the Baatold’s back and stabbed him in the back of the head and he jerked suddenly then died and Ohgood threw up his hands and said,” And the winner of the war spreads joy and tidings of good. Now that was fun and it looks like we’re nearing Troitsa as nightfall hits.”

  “ Look at all those beautiful lights,” said Ratie brightly as she looked at Troitsa.

  Troitsa was made entirely from black steel and had a huge black central building that was shaped like a computer monitor tilted up slightly that was half a mile high and a mile long called the Yokeperem. It had one side that was constantly showing different movies on it with sound that could only be heard a hundred feet away, but couldn’t be seen of heard inside Yokeperem. There were 450,000 residents that lived inside in large lavish apartments that had all the amenities. There was also a pair of semi round

  towers on the left next to Yokeperem that went half the way up and were also black steel. They were called the Cofert towers and they housed the Yesic Holy council’s most prized possessions including the Capeka stones.

  The Capeka stones were 4 blue 18 foot high magic holders that had the majority of all the unused magic in the solar system. If you touched them while casting a spell it turned you into pure magical energy and gave you the ability to shift dimensions and do spells beyond comprehension, which is why it was guarded by a legion of 300 soldiers who watched them round the clock.

  Beside the Cofert towers there was the Blasperu prison that rose up a mile in the air and housed over 1 million prisoners from all over Parscan that had done unspeakable crimes. Most were members of the Halbaltic gang, which was led by Gatgun Askit.

  Gatgun Askit was a 6’2” 245 pound bringer of death. He’d killed over 50 men with his bare hands and most dying for nothing more than a look. He had a tattoo of a head being eaten by a Combma, which was an 8 foot long black fur covered lion like creature that had the ability to be controlled with words, right in the middle of his forehead. His eyes were synthetic and checkered with circles in red and blue. His teeth were snarling and put people ill at ease when he smiled. He wore his black and green silk shirts and pants constantly as well as a pair of red homemade sneakers that hid a Disho crystal in the heels.

  Disho crystals could be ingested and gave you a large red globe that encircled your body and acted as a forcefield.

  There were hundreds of thousands of large and small ships whizzing thru the air around Troitsa around the floating lighted lane markers, with Shemy balloons floating all over the sky

  Shemy balloons were made form thin layers of Plasma held together by magic and would float up to a certain height then burst into a small fireworks display.

  “ O.K. look, it’s nighttime now, I say we get a room in Yokeperem and head down to the Caristic in the morning. What do you think?” asked Famaron as he looked at the Troitsa skyline in wonder.

  “ yeah whatever you want. We could have a lot of fun in Troitsa tonight,” said Ohgood as he smirked and nodded.

  “ Alright, but don’t get too crazy, I don’t want to bail you out of jail,” said Famaron jokingly.

  “ Oh we’ll be fine as long as we all stick together what could happen?” asked Ratie as she grinned and thought about how much fun they would have.

  “ We could get robbed beaten and killed, but that said who’s ready to party?” asked Famaron sarcastically then he started to jump on the couch and dance around.

  “ Oh brother,” said Ratie as she rolled her eyes.

  “ Well I know I am,” said Ohgood then he jumped up on the other end of the couch and began dancing.

  Ratie looked at the 2 of them in disgust and then said sternly,” Alright let’s party.”

  And then she jumped up on the couch and did a sultry dance and smiled.

  The Woright flew into the Yokeperem spaceport and landed softly. There were dozens of spacecraft coming in and out and being herded into individual docking spaces by humanoid robots called Cretsko’s.

  Cretsko’s had the ability to do herculean feats of strength and had blazing speed. Their faces were all cast in Famaron’s image and had his exact size and shape of hands and feet.

  The spaceport had paintings of all 3 sons of Goarote that covered the length of all 3 walls including a painting of Colous his 1st son.

  Colous was a handsome man of 6’8” and very muscular. He had strawberry blonde thick curly flowing hair, that had a single white bead tied into a braided piece on the side. His eyes were purple and green in color and were very large. He had a block jaw and bright white teeth. Colous was the writer of,” The 70 things a child should consider,” his first book that had passages like,” How can I always be right if I’m only half a man. If I gave away my fears of not knowing it all, all I would soon have,” as well as a brief poem that read,” Could an empty hand carry the load of a full heart or is everyone without the power of misplaces desires. I would like a resolution without confusion. For I know the answers we all carry.” Colous moved away from civilization 200 years ago to the island of Periocket. He is rumored to have been writing a dozen volumes of scripture, but none have surfaced.

  As Famaron exited the Woright he saw an old love of his Saram Cosap. Saram had long flowing blonde hair that went to her mid back. She was very striking to look at with her steely glare and large purple lips. She had on a tiny black dress that hung over her curvy body, as well as black high heels and a gold necklace. She saw Famaron and waved and walked over.

  “ Hi, Saram, you look stunning tonight. How’s Brank, dead I hope?” asked Famaron as he grinned.

  “ Oh actually he did die in a boating accident, but you couldn’t have known that so…well you look handsome,” said Saram as she fidgeted with her dress.

  “ Oh…why thank you. These 2 beautiful young adults are Ohgood and Ratie Baub’s kids,” said Famaron as his mind raced about the prospect of an available Saram.

  “ Hi there, Ohgood, hello Ratie, I know your poppa we used to be close friends when you were babies,” said Saram as she gave Ohgood and Ratie a kiss on the cheek.

  “ I vaguely remember you breast feeding me, is that weird?” asked Ohgood as he grinned at Saram.

  “ A bit,” said Saram and everyone laughed and then she asked,” Well what are you doing tonight?” asked Saram as she made eyes at Famaron.

  “ We hadn’t planned anything, what’d you have in mind?” asked Famaron as she smiled.

  Then suddenly a group of 3 men in black silk suits with yellow laser pistols and a red laser chain came running towards Famaron and the shortest one named Tor aimed his pistol and shouted,” You were a dying man before I killed you!”

  Famaron saw Tor and did a side flip and extended his staff and shouted,” Warov to split the sky!”

  Then a shower of purple swords and fire fell on top of the other 2 men as Tor leapt out of the way and the 2 men were torn to pieces and burned alive. Tor fired his laser pistol at Famaron and clipped his shoulder and Famaron winced in pain, but then shouted,” Powbal for shepherds!”

  Then an 8 foot tall Baatold appeared and grabbed hold of Tor and bit into his shoulder and Tor’s blood oozed out of the wound. Then Tor was able to raise his pistol and began blasting the Baatold in the chest repeatedly. After 8 shots the Baatold had a gaping hole in its chest you could see right thru.

  “ We should get out of here quick,” said Saram as she watched the battle.

  “ Maybe you’re right, there could be more of them coming. Let’s head for the main lobby,” said Famaron sternly.

  Then all 4 of them ran out of the hangar bay and into a long oval hallway. There wer
e 2 dozen arching paintings of Gados lining the walls on either side.

  Gados was a central figure spiritually in the seedy underworld of Parscan. He was the central guru in an ancient religion known as Posism Beliefs. They believed that Goarote put 100 slaves in the world for every one Posi as they were called. They felt it was their right to enslave the people of Parscan for their own good. They also practiced a form of chanting called Brem, where you said various phrases like,” Too many questions of a weak person’s mind. I am all powerful I own mankind,” as you drank a red and green liquid known as Ocrep that gave you hallucinations and increased brain function. Gados sent his minions out into society as fake normal people with jobs and families as they waited for Aup or the day of reckoning. Gados had dark green and blue braided hair that was braided into cubes with diamond affixed in the center. He was 6’5” 269 pound brick house with massive powerful hands.

  The floor of the hallway was covered in Ensul liquid, which disinfected your shoes, but felt dry to the touch. It also gave off a thin yellow vapor which killed most colds and relieved all headaches.

  “ That was close, who were those men and why were they trying to kill you?” asked Ratie as she looked back to see if they were being followed.

  “ I’m not sure, but if I had to guess I’d say they were Gados disciples,” said Famaron as he noticed the painting of Gados.

  “ Who’s that?” asked Saram as she looked at Famaron.

  “ Posism Beliefs, they’re more of a religion then a gang, but they’ve been after me for quite some time. I wouldn’t worry thou, they’re usually on some drug or 2 that makes them all zoned out. Like back there that man had the jump on me, but was too loaded to fire a straight shot. So I wouldn’t worry,” said Famaron as he walked past a set of black steel doors and then stopped and said,” Let’s go thru the kitchen this hallway is a little long.”

  “ Fine with me,” said Saram as she straightened her dress.

  “ Me also,” said Ohgood then he turned around and followed Famaron into the kitchen.

  Inside the kitchen there were 20 instant cooking ovens which could bake a cake in 2 seconds by sending a wave of heat thru it from every angle. The instant ovens were made from black steel and looked like a person’s head, with you simply putting the food on top of it and it would lower into the center and the oven was floating 3 feet above the floor in the center of the room. There were 4 ten foot long yellow hexagon shaped refrigerators that were lining either wall. Hanging from the ceiling were a large wooden v shaped case filled with all the cakes, pies, and assorted deserts. The floor had a black rug with Famaron’s face sewn into it with gold thread.

  “ Anybody hungry?” asked Famaron as he walked past one of the 20 chefs working diligently.

  “ A bit yeah, what do you got?” asked Ohgood as he watched a large round Fower steak rise up out of an instant oven.

  “ Whatever you savior, how about a Fower steak and a Pemy pie?” asked Famaron warmly as he waved to a chef to come over.

  Fower was a 20 foot high pig like animal with red hairless skin and a cube shaped head. It also had a large round white nose and green eyes that went in different directions. Its meat was similar to a cows, but it had a sweeter taste.

  Pemy pies were made from the Pemy fruit which was green in color and shaped like a bicycle wheel. It tasted very sweet like an apple, but also tart like a lemon but when you put the almond glaze on top and the homemade crust the pie went over the top in flavor.

  A chef in a seal black leather suit named Parnam, with a red apron and hat came over and asked,” Yes, Emperor, we have everything, what would you like?” asked Parnam brightly as he stood with his hands at his side.

  “ It looks like 4 steaks 4 Pemy pies and a bottle of Dordanet. And ah…why don’t you go ahead and get us a table. Oh, and let Patu know I’m here so he can prepare my suite. And thanks I appreciate the effort and it won’t go unrewarded,” said Famaron warmly then he grinned at Parnam.

  “ It will be taken care of and your usual table will be ready when you get there bye, Emperor,” said Parnam then he hurried away and began telling the other chefs what to prepare.

  “ Hungry are we, Emperor of nothing,” said Tor snidely as he stood behind Famaron with his gun at his side.

  Famaron heard his voice and turned around slowly and then said sadly,” I it’s nothing we’re standing on air. Why, young man, are you trying to kill me?” asked Famaron as he watched Tor’s pistol out of his peripheral vision while he kept his eyes on Tor.

  “ Because you are a plague on Parscan. You destroy her promise with every selfish breath from that pompous head of yours. We won’t hide in the shadows for much longer, Emperor of nothing,” said Tor snidely as he glared at Famaron.

  “ Blood deathly flow from right below!” shouted Famaron quickly as he raised his staff.

  Then a 2 ton black spike covered marble ball appeared above Tor and before he could move it fell on top of him crushing his body flat to the rug. His arms reached out from under the ball as a pool of blood quickly formed then Ohgood said plainly,” Alright, let’s get our table.”

  Everyone looked at him then laughed and Ratie said sarcastically,” Yeah, that’s just what I was thinking, Ohgood.”

  “ I thought so, I know my sis and she knows me, give me a kiss,” said Ohgood slyly then he kissed Ratie on the cheek.

  “ You are the biggest rascal on the planet and I would know because I’ve dated all the others,” said Ratie as she pushed Ohgood away

  “ It’s nonstop excitement whenever I see you, Famaron, why is that?” asked Saram as she took hold of Famaron’s arm and smiled.

  “ Well, when you’re the most powerful man in the world there is always a group of people who envy your power, intellect, and handsomeness,” said Famaron.

  “ Lack of humbleness,” said Ohgood quickly as he walked behind Famaron and Saram.

  “ See what’d I tell ya. It’s a burden not many could carry, but I make due it’s hard thou,” said Famaron smoothly as he walked thru the kitchen and up to a pair of red S shaped doors.

  “ I bet it is, boy have I missed you. You still are the toughest man alive right?” asked Saram playfully as she stroked Famaron’s forearm.

  “ If they gave out an award I’d have a wall filled with them, gorgeous,” said Famaron smoothly as he looked deep into Saram’s eyes then he kissed her passionately.

  “ Oh please, that’s the lamest line I ever heard,” said Ohgood as he grimaced and threw up his hands.

  “ I thought it was truly romantic. Way to go, Famaron,” said Ratie softly as she watched them kiss and licked her lips.

  “ What are you kidding me, that’s the type of line you’d use in a brothel. Which would be followed by you want sucky sucky, please,” said Ohgood sternly as he looked at Ratie who was still watching them kiss.’

  Then they walked out of the kitchen and into the Hocko restaurant. Hocko had 20 round black floating tables surrounded by brown leather circular couches that levitated 10 inches off the floor. On each of the tables there was a built in touch screen computer to instantly order anything you wanted. There was also a free water dispenser that would have blue glass cups of water rise up out of the table at the press of a button. There was also a cigarette and cigar machine built right in. The tables were arranged in a u shape with a green 3 foot high revolving stage in front of them that a variety of acts from comedians to rock bands to theater, even martial arts would perform while you ate. The walls had a collection of celebrity clients faces inside computer monitors that showed their latest photos or even clips from their films. In between the monitors were hundreds of mini robots known as key, that were

  used to put on elaborate battles on top of mini platforms of red steel. The key robots looked like actual armies of y
esteryear and often times would reenact famous battles like the Devosaw war.

  The Devosaw war was a bitter battle between Yeams, which were normal people, and wizard kind. They fought over the wizards wanting equal rights as they were being forced to hide their magic from non magic kind for fear of reprisals. The battle lasted 8 years and the Yeams eventually gave in and the wizards and people of magic were allowed to no longer hide in the shadows and be free to practice magic openly in public.

  The ceiling was made of a thick glass and the workout area was above and clearly visible from in Hocko. There were dozens of people using the gym.

  As Famaron walked in a beautiful green haired tall woman escorted them to his usual table and then brought out their 4 Fower steaks, the Pemy pies and the bottles of Dordanet and then left and Famaron said boldly,” I decree that if the children of the world need a father I am busy being everything to everyone. So get back in the gutter and find my glass of pennies!”

  “ That was beautiful, I always loved Tomka,” said Saram as she clapped softly.

  Tomka was a play about an evil town owner who steals all the towns people’s money by raising prices on all their daily necessities until they’re all flat broke. Then he lets them all starve and sends them away after taking their homes for unpaid bills. It was written by a homeless man who lived in an abandoned cereal factory before he struck it rich with the play and moved into a large chateau.